What is forever, anyhow?

Dear Daewoo,

It's been so long since our last correspondence, please dont think i have forgotten about those passionate weeks we spent together. Its just that i caught myself getting too caught up in you and the fantastic and the dreams and the adventures, and i was living in the letters and forgetting to live in the outside world. But, you are still on my mind daily, in my heart forever (and from what ive hear, forever is a long time!) you especially come to the forefront of my mind on those nights I can't master the science of sleep. Ill find myself driving from one side of the state to the other, cause when I can't sleep, and the highways are empty, I like to race to the edge of the horizon line, to finally meet my childhood friend Mr. Moon on the soft spot at the apron of my Mother's driveway (did i ever tell you about Mr. Moon? It is a quite endearing story to hear!), where the cement has cracked from our seasonal weather, dissolving back into original elements, sinking into the place we stole it from. I'm laying at the edge of my childhood home, my face in the sky, my eyes jumping like the stars seem to do when you stare at them too long. Im acknowledging all the constellations above me, letting my imagination play connect the dots with the ones i dont know (kind of like you use to play connect the dots with the freckles on my lower back). I never got to see the sky clearly like this in the city, Not with all the dirtiness: the pollution, and smog, and light (you always said u missed the dark skies of your travels, you hated the city lights so much.)- so to see these light fire balls burning through time to awaken in me this familiar place, feels "special." (special like the time you rescued me from those crook pirates when we sailed through the polynesians, after we recovered the lost journals of your late brother in Atiu) Oh my dear Daewoo, In the midwestern darkness sometimes it feels like you're laying next to me - even though you've never been to this part of the country- and in the singular moment the universe seems to exhale our thoughts simutaneously collide beneath a transparent blanket of stars, and dust, and space junk, and time, and consciousness, and love. Its so infinite, you see? The answers to all the things i struggle to understand about myself, the things that keep me from sleeping, that follow me to my driveway on my night drives, a whole lot of things I never understood seem to be OUT THERE! but from what I heard, it's all "in here" (as in us) too. Soo maybe it's all less complicated than I make it out to be in my head, (you did always laugh at me for making things so damn complicated on myself...), Maybe all this space and time and cracked pavement and inability to forget (you) is really just as simple as the handful of times our parallel lines crossed, those handful of nights we spent wrapped in the blanket of a singular night sky. My darling, my love, my Daewoo, I will count the stars until our love dissolves back, like the sand beneath our feet, into the oceans, where it came from and where it belongs.
Speak to the stars, I will be listening,
BLB 1544

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