Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
YOU SAID I MUST EAT SO MANY LEMONS BECAUSE I AM SO BITTER
I'm too anxious
Laying awake
singing Kate Nash
& dancing around in a tiara.
Welcome to my life.
:] It is beautiful.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I am small, and needy
Hung out with Andrew tonight :]
I don't think I could dance around like an idiot with anyone else and have such a good time.
We reenacted the scene from Garden State & laid in a bathtub and talked, it was adorable.
If it wasn't for me having to be home early we'd prob. be chilling in a warm tub listening to good music right now too. ha ha
Dammmit! I'd really enjoy chilling in a tub full of jujubes as well - hopefully my dreams will come true, soon. lol
What'd you all do tonight?
Tell me about it, sil vous plat!
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
I don't think I could dance around like an idiot with anyone else and have such a good time.
We reenacted the scene from Garden State & laid in a bathtub and talked, it was adorable.
If it wasn't for me having to be home early we'd prob. be chilling in a warm tub listening to good music right now too. ha ha
Dammmit! I'd really enjoy chilling in a tub full of jujubes as well - hopefully my dreams will come true, soon. lol
What'd you all do tonight?
Tell me about it, sil vous plat!
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I keep a bottle near, for times like these.
Our song came on tonight
as I spent the night alone with this bottle
nursing the emptiness that I've grown fond of.
It still brings tears to my eyes;
they're of a different form this time.
No longer tears reminding me of how much you love and adored me,
but those of anger, abandonment, loneliness & frustration.
When you played this song for me
and took my hand in yours,
I never imagined that 2 years later you would've ripped apart everything I gave you
abandoning not only the place in my heart,
but the home my family welcomed you into.
I don't regret a moment we spent together,
you taught me more about myself then I ever wanted to know.
You supported me on the days I gave up on myself,
you taught me how to love myself,
you taught me how to love others.
I'll never forget you,
thank you - for everything.
as I spent the night alone with this bottle
nursing the emptiness that I've grown fond of.
It still brings tears to my eyes;
they're of a different form this time.
No longer tears reminding me of how much you love and adored me,
but those of anger, abandonment, loneliness & frustration.
When you played this song for me
and took my hand in yours,
I never imagined that 2 years later you would've ripped apart everything I gave you
abandoning not only the place in my heart,
but the home my family welcomed you into.
I don't regret a moment we spent together,
you taught me more about myself then I ever wanted to know.
You supported me on the days I gave up on myself,
you taught me how to love myself,
you taught me how to love others.
I'll never forget you,
thank you - for everything.
Friday, February 15, 2008
You can't come inside unless you're invited
Come kiss my red wine stained lips
and put me in my place.
and put me in my place.
I fought the war, but the war won.
WHERE IS ALL THIS GOING?
Hopefully up, and not down.
I'm so unsure of EVERYTHING right now.
I'm terrified of what's going to happen within the next 5-6 months.
My life could be absolutely fabulous
or even more depressing.
I feel so unsupported by the people who matter most -
if anything I feel like they're trying to sabotage my success.
Worst of all, I sabotage my own success.
I'm a mess.
Hopefully up, and not down.
I'm so unsure of EVERYTHING right now.
I'm terrified of what's going to happen within the next 5-6 months.
My life could be absolutely fabulous
or even more depressing.
I feel so unsupported by the people who matter most -
if anything I feel like they're trying to sabotage my success.
Worst of all, I sabotage my own success.
I'm a mess.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I pull the soft covers over & close my eyes
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
(G'morning Valentiners!)
What does it take to find and nurture a love like this? TRUE love, that is. Is it something tangible, or just an ideal we can forever strive for to help continuously improve our imperfect relationships? Love is sacred, and something I have grown to appreciate more and more as I get older. I've learned a lot in the past two years from my previous relationship, and for that I am thankful; I know I will be able to make someone very happy one day, and I know what I want... he's out there somewhere :]
Spreading the love, from Calculus class! hah
Today was really special though! Adam drove all the way to my house at 6:30am to put a dozen red roses & a card on my windshield for me before I had to leave for school... it was probably the best suprise of the day, just because it was SO cute & we all know how much I love my roses. After school I went to his place and we took a nice little nap together. I'm starting to think his bed is more comfy than mine! GRRRR. He suprised me with anotherrrr gift - the PRIMP sheep hoodie! yayyyyyy! We went & saw "Fools Gold" - way cute! & Matthew McConnahay (sp?) has got a fiiiiiine body! hah. On our way to dinner he suprised me with my last gift - THE ANIMAL CHARM BETSEY JOHNSON NECKLACE I'VE BEEN DYING OVER! I seriously screamed for a whole 5 minutes like I was on a game show. It was ridiculous.
We had some good thai food & watched the best episode of Deal or No Deal, ever! If you watched it tonight, you'll know what I'm talking about. The guy was ridiculous & a real "math genius!' hah
This was definitely a special Valentine's Day for me... I never expected I would be spending it with Adam if you would've asked me a year or two ago. We've been through so much together. He is my best friend and I've never met anyone who is so accepting of me and all my stupid little quirks and ridiculousness... I appreciate it more than anything. He just lets me be me, and he still loves me. He is a special person in my life, we're not officially "together," because I'll be moving in a few months and what not, but who knows where things will end up for us. We've worked through some pretty difficult stuff, I think we can make it through anything.
(G'morning Valentiners!)
What does it take to find and nurture a love like this? TRUE love, that is. Is it something tangible, or just an ideal we can forever strive for to help continuously improve our imperfect relationships? Love is sacred, and something I have grown to appreciate more and more as I get older. I've learned a lot in the past two years from my previous relationship, and for that I am thankful; I know I will be able to make someone very happy one day, and I know what I want... he's out there somewhere :]
Spreading the love, from Calculus class! hah
Today was really special though! Adam drove all the way to my house at 6:30am to put a dozen red roses & a card on my windshield for me before I had to leave for school... it was probably the best suprise of the day, just because it was SO cute & we all know how much I love my roses. After school I went to his place and we took a nice little nap together. I'm starting to think his bed is more comfy than mine! GRRRR. He suprised me with anotherrrr gift - the PRIMP sheep hoodie! yayyyyyy! We went & saw "Fools Gold" - way cute! & Matthew McConnahay (sp?) has got a fiiiiiine body! hah. On our way to dinner he suprised me with my last gift - THE ANIMAL CHARM BETSEY JOHNSON NECKLACE I'VE BEEN DYING OVER! I seriously screamed for a whole 5 minutes like I was on a game show. It was ridiculous.
We had some good thai food & watched the best episode of Deal or No Deal, ever! If you watched it tonight, you'll know what I'm talking about. The guy was ridiculous & a real "math genius!' hah
This was definitely a special Valentine's Day for me... I never expected I would be spending it with Adam if you would've asked me a year or two ago. We've been through so much together. He is my best friend and I've never met anyone who is so accepting of me and all my stupid little quirks and ridiculousness... I appreciate it more than anything. He just lets me be me, and he still loves me. He is a special person in my life, we're not officially "together," because I'll be moving in a few months and what not, but who knows where things will end up for us. We've worked through some pretty difficult stuff, I think we can make it through anything.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
My first love is already dead
I wish you'd beg me to stay
just long enough
to pretend you know who I am.
Trace the freckles
from my shoulder
down my back
I'll pretend I want this.
The truth is right here
plain to see
in my blue eyes.
just long enough
to pretend you know who I am.
Trace the freckles
from my shoulder
down my back
I'll pretend I want this.
The truth is right here
plain to see
in my blue eyes.
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