We leave here the same way we came

"Death is the ego's biggest lie. In fact, what God created is eternal. Your body can perish, but your spirit cannot. There is no death. The Son of God is free."
-A Course In Miracles

More sad news today....
My Grandma Rose's sister, my Great-Aunt Helen, made her transition back into the arms of Our Father God.
She has battled cancer, one too many times, and her body was obviously tired. She was ready to release her sick body to transition into the next life - free of pain and disease. To be a free Soul, to dance amongst the angels, once again.

She was an important part of my life growing up. Every Saturday, when I was around seven years old, I use to be on a country line dance team with her and my Grandma... we'd even perform at State Fairs and other silly Midwestern-thangs like that. I guess you can blame that early up bringing on why to this day I am still a true cowgirl at heart <3 Even as I got older, she always made a point to attend all of my recitals and ballet performances. I still remember the joy and pride in her eyes when she saw me perform my first lead role in a company ballet performance; as the Scarecrow in the ballet version of The Wizard of Oz. She was like another Grandma to me. I also owe to her the love of having my arms 'tickled' on that one time my Mom was in the hospital [or maybe it was when my Grandma was getting surgery? my memory is failing me right now] and Aunt Helen sat in that awful teal-sterile-waiting-chamber, tickling my arms - for hours- calming my lifelong 'Hospital Anxiety.' When one of her hands would get tired from all the stroking, she'd make me jump in to the seat on the other side of her so she could use her other arm. No one will ever give me the 'sqwigglies,' as I liked to call them, like she did.

Last week when I was home in Detroit, she made a 'turn for the worse,' and ended up in Hospice care and my Mom kept saying we should go see her before I came back to the city because it would probably be the 'last time.' Being the optimist that I am, I didn't want to believe it'd be the last chance to see her, and I didn't make an effort to go say 'Goodbye,' to tell her how much she meant to me, to tickle her arms and relieve her of the chronic pain she was in. I'll never be able to get that opportunity back, and I feel SO selfish. SO guilty. SO mad at myself, for [like fucking usual!] being too wrapped up in my petty self absorbed life to make the effort. Now it's too late, now I can only hope she can 'hear' me, only hope she knew how much I really did appreciate her presence in my life.

I am thankful she is no longer in pain, I am thankful she is free of a body full of disease, a body that no longer serviced the free spirit inside of her. I am thankful she has another chance to be reborn, to dance, to be free and joyful like I will always remember her to be. I hope she is doing the 'Boot-Scootin'-Boogy' into what'ever next life she is moving in to - maybe teaching another angel or two how to stomp her boots like a real cowgirl! I love you Aunt Hellen.


Our Father, bless our eyes today. We are Your messengers, and we would look upon the glorious reflection of Your Love which shines in everything. We live and move in You alone. We are not separate from Your eternal life. There is no death, for death is not Your Will. And we abide where You have placed us, in the life we share with You and with all living things, to be like You and part of You forever. We accept Your Thoughts as ours, and our will is one with Yours eternally. Amen.