Perfect families are boring

Thanksgiving is next week and everyone is talking about their plans of going home to be with their family. I'm not going home again this year, but that's not bothering me as much as just having to think about 'family,' right now. My parents have been divorced since I was two years old, my childhood was atypical to most, but seemed very normal to me. When my Dad and Step Mom got married, I was pretty excited. I was going to get the opportunity to be apart of a 'typical' family. I moved in with my Dad, Step-Mom, step-sister and little brother my Sophomore year in highschool because I NEEDED to feel like I was apart of my Dad's family, apart of their life. We had a big house in a beautiful neighborhood and our front porch looked on to the golf course, my step sister and I went to the same school, I got to watch my little brother grow up, my Dad came home from work and we'd usually all have dinner together, we vacationed together, we laughed together, we supported each other. We dealt with more shit and problems than most families do, but we were a family who supported and loved each other. It was a special experience for me, I needed it. I admired my Dad and Step-Mom's relationship, more than they will ever know, but I guess sometimes the perfect (but crazy) family isn't enough, maybe sometimes love just isn't enough. It's tearing me into a million little pieces to think that when I come home for Christmas we're not going to be the same family all living in the same house together. My Dad's moved into his house downtown, Lisa is living in the house with the kids... instead of having two houses to visit while I am home, I now I have three. I talked to my Mom (via Facebook chat - how weird! haha) and she reminded me that I still have a family, I have her - 'it only takes two people to make a family.' I love my Mom. For the longest time growing up it was just her and I living together, we've always had each other to lean on. It still hurts to know that my Dad's family is being torn apart, but no matter who is living with who, or no matter where any of us end up - we will always be family, blood or not, we'll always have each other. My little brother and sister mean the world to me, they inspire me to fight for what I believe in, to make a difference in the World around me, to stay strong, to see the World for the messy-beautiful thing it is, and I will continue to be there to support them as they grow up and face the demons of reality. It's so hard living states away, pursuing my dreams, when all I want is to hug them all, be the big sister I know they're going to need. I've laid in bed the past two days trying to get a grip on the reality of what is happening, hugging myself, trying to piece myself back together. I refuse to let this situation turn me cynical, I refuse to stop believing in the power of Love. I have a family who loves me, and who I love more than words could express, and that makes me one of the luckiest young women I know. God is Love, and Love is real... I won't loose faith.